Territorial Pissing.

(\ /) ♫
( . .)
c('')('')

My goal is to spread my plague of nonsense all over the internets... i'm really quite useless but pungent in odor.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

My Belated Goodbye.


I'm sorry if anyone still swings by here hoping to catch my witty antics on the screen. I had moved my blog over to my website quite some time ago. Visit me there if you wanna learn something.

www.penelopeandclyde.com


(\ /) ♫
( . .)
c('')('') - Love, Ana Petree Garcia

Sunday, February 22, 2009

For Better and Worse, This Is Us.

So this is a marriage questionnaire that's been floating around the interweb but me and Terrence are as married as either of us will ever be. So I decided to fill this in out of boredom. It's been a while since I've answered questions.


What are your middle names?
Terrence's middle name is Michael. My middle name is Petree.

How long have you been together?
We've been together since 2004, that's slightly over 4 years now.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We met online when Terrence contacted me via Myspace after stalking me through a mutual friend. We emailed and chatted on AIM for about a month or two before we met and began dating.

Who asked whom out?
I wore the pants and made him my bitch. He was too scared I'd say no.

How old are each of you?
Terrence is 26 and I'll be 25 in 6 weeks.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
We see his brother and sister the most, they still live at home about 5 minutes from us. My siblings are all scattered throughout Staten Island and Brooklyn or married.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
I think at this point in our relationship our finances are the hardest on us. We both work too much to make ends meet and see each other too little. We're almost always tired and grouchy.

Did you go to the same school?
We both attended CSI but never at the same time. He transferred out by the time I had started and I dropped out before he had gone back to finish his degree.

Are you from the same home town?
No, I was born and raised in Williamsburg, Brooklyn and he was born and raised in West Brighton, Staten Island. But we're both cynical New Yorkers which is what matters most.

Who is smarter?
Terrence is definitely the brains of this relationship. I still have to flip through the dictionary sometimes to understand what he's talking about.

Who is the most sensitive?
I am certainly the most sensitive, I cry at diaper commercials. Terrence is Irish so he's only sensitive when he's drunk.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?

We're more often the eat in type but I'm pretty sure we can be found eating publicly most at Bayou. It's the best food Staten Island has to offer, I strongly recommend it.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Chicago. We're more the camping couple than the flying couple.

Who has the craziest exes?
Terrence wins this one. One of his exes threatened to run us over with her car...

Who has the worst temper?
Terrence has a very short fuse, but I've learned throughout the years how to avoid sparking it... and also how to enrage it.

Who does the cooking?
I know how to boil pasta and beans. Terrence is the chef in our home, he experiments with food all the time. It's his passion, I wouldn't want to take that away from him no matter how often he whines that I never cook.

Who is the neat-freak?
Neither of us. We both have our pet peeves about cleanliness and complain about each other equally. Like his balled up socks and underwear on the floor or his beard clippings all over the bathroom.

Who is more stubborn?

We're both terribly stubborn. He might be slightly less movable than I though.

Who hogs the bed?
The cat. She takes up my side, which makes me take up his side, which makes him simply lay all over me. But I doubt that no matter how much space he had it'd stop his limbs from kicking my ass in bed.

Who wakes up earlier?

I wake up earlier but his alarm goes off before mine. I wake him up to turn it off, then he goes back to sleep and I remain awake and smacking him to a state of consciousness until I'm out the door.

Where was your first date?
This question sparks some debate. What he considered us dating I thought was just hanging out. But if he gets his way than it's either our first meeting at my friends comedy show at the Muddy Cup or when we saw A Very Long Engagement at Sunshine Cinema. I still don't think we've ever been on a date, I'm crazy though.

Who is more jealous?
I win this one. Terrence is an attractive man but his mentality is still that of an awkward greasy teen so he's oblivious to all these girls constantly throwing themselves at him. Whereas I think every girl that speaks to him blatantly goes after his junk.

How long did it take to get serious?
We began serious. We got to know each other so well before we met so by the time we'd started dating we were already in love and before we even hit 6 months we were engaged and living together. Now we're just a couple of domesticated losers.

Who eats more?
Terrence eats more, he works mostly from home and follows a strict calorie intake and work out schedule. I usually skip breakfast, eat a horrible lunch at work and only if Terrence isn't working I eat dinner. I miss food.

Who does the laundry?
When we had a washer at home I did all the laundry but now we have to use Terrence's parents to get our laundry done so that responsibility is all his. Neither of us ever puts the clothes away though. We just basically live in laundry.

Who's better with the computer?
Terrence built his first computer at 5, he now works for Switched.com and gets paid to write about computers. I at least know when to run all the necessary updates and scans.

Who drives when you are together?
I always give up the drivers seat to Terrence. He's a nag and a back seat driver, plus he has terrible road rage. The road rage might be a sign that I should drive but whenever I'm driving it leaves him free to hang out the window and start fights with the other divers on the road. It's just safer to let him take the wheel. It's a good thing he rides his bike most of the year.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Maunder 6: The Happy Introvert

Clearly I've lost my mind.

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Sunday, January 11, 2009

Maunder 5: How To Fight Loneliness.

I'm learning to tolerate the solitude. Terrence is on a business trip and I'm a lonely sad gal. I think I'm doing better with this one, last year I was super depressed when he left and this year I'm trying to see it more as a vacation for myself. A week of open door toilet time and hairy legs. Either way, I wanted to make a video for him or dedicated to him rather... and I might have ranted a bit too long in it but... here goes.

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Thursday, January 01, 2009

My Top 50 Singles of 2008.




50. Closer - Ne-Yo




49. Lost Coastlines - Okkervil River




48. Hero (Ft. Keri Hilson) - Nas




47. Work That - Mary J. Blige




46. 4 Minutes (Ft. Justin Timberlake and Timbaland) - Madonna




45. Gobbledigook - Sìgur Rós




44. Good Time - Brazilian Girls




43. Gettin Up - Q-Tip




42. Whatever You Like - T.I.




41. Hang Them All - Tapes 'n Tapes




40. Gila - Beach House




39. Love Lockdown - Kanye West




38. Sound of Kuduro (Feat. M.I.A., Dj Znobia, Saborosa, Puto Prata) - Buraka Som Sistema




37. GFC - Albert Hammond, Jr.




36. Olympic Airways - Foals




35. Parachute - Shugo Tokumaru




34. Molten Light - Chad VanGaalen




33. Why Do You Let Me Stay Here? - She & Him




32. Run - Gnarls Barkley




31. Half Asleep - School Of Seven Bells




30. You! Me! Dancing! - Los Campesinos!




29. That's Gangsta (Ft. Sean Kingston) - Bun B




28. Little Bit of Feel Good - Jamie Lidell




27. Fascination - Alphabeat




26. Hearts On Fire - Cut Copy




25. Disturbia - Rihanna




24. I'm Good, I'm Gone - Lykke Li




23. I Know UR Girlfriend Hates Me - Annie




22. Big Ideas - LCD Soundsystem




21. Put On (Ft. Kanye West) - Young Jeezy




20. Got Money (Ft. T-Pain) - Lil' Wayne




19. Blind - Hercules and Love Affair




18. Kids - MGMT




17. White Winter Hymnal - Fleet Foxes




16. Kim & Jessie - M83




15. Courtship Dating - Crystal Castles




14. Around The Bend - The Asteroids Galaxy Tour




13. Breaking It Up - Lykke Li




12. Fools - The Dodos




11. Buriedfed - Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson




10. Water Curses - Animal Collective




09. Brooklyn (Go Hard) (Ft. Santogold) - Jay-Z




08. Highways Of Gold - Jaguar Love




07. Ce Jeu - Yelle




06. Sleepyhead - Passion Pit




05. Lollipop (Featuring Static Major) - Lil' Wayne




04. Ready For The Floor - Hot Chip




03. L.E.S. Artistes - Santogold




02. Time to Pretend - MGMT




01. Live Your Life (Ft. Rihanna) - T.I.


Sunday, November 09, 2008

Maunder 4: Tim Burton Needs A New Career

I can't exactly articulate my disdain for Mr. Burton in an eloquent way... I'm flustered at the moment with the turn of events in his career. He was once my favorite and all of a sudden I found myself nodding off or doing my taxes instead of paying attention to his work. I'd turn off the TV with ideas of tuning back in that would never exactly come to play out. I actually had no interest in Sweeney Todd but I figured I owed it to him to give it it's fair chance.



I did in fact finish this flick without sleep or breaks... partly because I watched it as I straightened my hair and passing out with a hot iron to your scalp never did anyone a bit of good. Meh. It wasn't nearly as terrible as I had anticipated but it was still pretty awful. But that might have just been the fault of the story more than Burton himself... meh. That's my opinion. Now when he ruins Alice In Wonderland he better have a damn good excuse.

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Friday, September 12, 2008

Maunder 3: Hair Insanity

Looking in the mirror and having a Ramone staring back at you has this effect on a person.



One day I'll be able to quit swearing and get regular haircuts. That's when I'll earn my pearls.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Random Thoughts of the Round Table.

As I sat waiting patiently to be called in for my job interview today I thought to pass the time by jotting down my thoughts as they came. 4 of us sitting in a conference room on the 24th floor... Begin:

pretty view
"I'm not here to make friends" -ANTM
UBS, memories of Terrence flood in
staring at lucky bastards across the way in their corner offices
looking toward central park, staring straight down 6th Ave
nodding off
p.p.dance
my shoes are better...
::itches::
stupid mosquitoes
why am i so tasty?
face is all distorted now
diversity is not on my side
Jefferson's theme enters my head
wish i knew where the bathroom is
soo... hungry...
should have gotten up at 6am
stupid humidity
stupid afro hair
stupid stupid
i can't believe the security at the ferry blocked the door
assholes
maybe i'm having a shit day to make way for good outcome...
potty-potty-potty potty-potty-potty
potty-potty-potty potty-potty-potty
(sung to the tune of the underworld song in Super Mario Bros.)
and then there were 2
awkward...
i'm such a shitty conversationalist
::grumble::
i wonder-
i'm alone now
me?
round two?
the cheese stands alone...

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Katy Perry Owns My Heart.


So I decided that after a day of watching nearly all of Katy Perry's video blogs that I might like her. Her music is oh so gay and catchy and I still heave whenever I think that her stupid lesbo tune beat out the Beatles... yet... I may be falling for her. This is taking me back to high school when I hated Avril Lavigne so much that blasting her tunes as a joke turned into enjoying them (I'm so over her now though, whatev). Um... yeah. You know, I never really liked Avril Lavigne as a person though, she's kind of lame... hot though. So I guess it's more like my love for Ashlee Simpson after watching her reality show on MTV... she was dreamy. Her music stinks though. Except La La, shit was hot. I wonder how long my crush on Katy will last...



ADORABLE.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Terrible Tube.

I torture my boyfriend Terrence on a fairly regular basis with the nonsense that fills my nights. Such as this horrible weekly teen soap opera filled with innocent whores, annoying bible thumpers, robot siblings and an overweight Molly Ringwald. I hate this show, I can complain and rant about how awful it is for quite some time... although I'm strangely drawn to it. Each week I impatiently wait for it's Tuesday night arrival. Terrence and I sit there and mock the monotone sister, the bad acting and bow our heads in sympathy for Ernie and Molly. Each week I try to figure out what addicts me to this craptastic hour of fake sobbing and bad casting.

Can someone help me?

Recently I sat through Living Lohan week after week, now that was a tortuous addiction but I would force myself to watch it, feeling like I was missing something if I didn't... sometimes taking as much as 3 weeks to sit through a 24 minute episode. At least I understood that drive. Nothing in me is forced to watch The Secret Life of the American Teenager... so I'm convinced that ABC Family is leaking out some sort of drug or subliminal messaging. Terrence only listens and peaks up occasionally at the program so that explains his lack of affliction... I'm going to soon get to the bottom of this. Until then I'll be biting my fingernails wondering if Amy will leave town to have the baby or stay and marry Ben... eeek.

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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

New Career Objective.


I never took my SAT's. Why didn't my mother smack me for that...

I have a new dream. I'm in no way an optimist so my dream of leaving this small world, camera in tow and man at my side seems like a fantasy. So in lue of any real goals, direction, drive or talent I've decided to be a professional blogger. Although I have nothing of interest to say, no skill for writing and no fan base... this too might seem out of reach. But for as far fetched as it seems it's also pretty easy to try out. If I fail it's not like I had anything on the line... except for maybe the cash for the domain name and web host that I will have to acquire, the hours of design tutorials and html codes racing through my head. I'll have to find ads that'll rake in that dough, maybe an editor (that part should be easy). Maybe I should take an English class... or a web design course. Perhaps a lesson in how to be interesting. Yeah. So while I dream at night of photo journalism, Nikon D60's and designer handbags, I'll wake up turn on my pc and sing a little song.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

My First Met Game.

I'm 24 years old, the Mets have been my favorite baseball team since I decided I kind of like baseball... The trouble with that is I grew up in a house of Yankees. Remember the subway series... man, was that a tense world series to live through in the Garcia household. Would have been nice if they won it, I would have done a daily dance, rubbed my brothers noses in it like a dog that shit in the house. Either way, I digress (which I'm known to do). After 3 years of asking, Terrence finally brought me to a Met game and it was lovely. They won, it was sort of anticlimactic but a wins a win. After the experience I fully intend to have others of a very similar variety. I got to visit Shea Stadium which will be gone in a few short months, I'm looking forward to Citi Field... though I hate the name. I'd look forward to it more if we could keep the name. I'm boring. Yay Mets!

P.S. At this point in life my brothers and I can agree on one thing... both the Mets and Yankees are doing about the same... sometimes shitty, sometimes great. Neither team is standing out amongst the rest as best... but we're not done yet.